Monday, September 20, 2010

"Christian" people get on my nerves

Sometimes "Christian" people are so rude. I'm trying to think of another way to put it, but that's it. Rude, mean, and ugly...

What is "being a Christian?" What comes to your mind? I think a lot of people are going to be surprised. "... And in that day I will say to them, depart from me ye worker of iniquity. I never knew you." What does that mean?

I think it's a lot simpler than we make it.
Let me start with what "being a Christian" isn't:
It isn't rude, ugly, irritable, mean spirited or judgemental. it
isn't fast to get angry. It doesn't think of its self as better or
knowing more "how to be like Jesus" than the next person. It
doesn't meet at church and find everything wrong with everyone
and/or everything.

Now, as far as what a "Christian" is:
A Christian is loving. A Christian looks at people through eyes that say "I care
about you. A Christian chooses to see the good in people. It sees
other's best potential in them right now, but doesn't point out every area that they need to change. It genuinely wants people to meet
Jesus-to feel his love and fall in love with him. It wants others
to get to know for themselves how amazing God is, and how much he
cares about them.

I get annoyed with "religious" people who think they know SO much about God, but are missing it altogether. They are the hardest for me to "love." People who are so caught up in "following" God, that they end up following nothing but their own rules.

I've gotten flack from these people in the past. Why? because I genuinely believe that God called the true believers to LOVE, not judge. I should know, I was on the other end of that for so long. In my mind, I wasn't judging, I was discerning, or observing the facts, 2+2=4 kind of thing. I felt compelled to discern between the "right" and the "wrong" of what people were doing. I felt that if I didn't I was somehow agreeing with the "wrong" and that I would get deluded into being "ok" with "sin." So many "Christians" fall into this trap.

By loving people you aren't saying that everything's ok, there is no right and wrong. It's the exact opposite. You want to save people from the judgement of God for their sin. Why do people try and save people from judgement, with judgement?

When you love people you'll find that you genuinely care about them, and the quality of their lives. You'll find that you want people to meet Jesus because you want them to have peace in their souls and feel unconditional love. You'll find that it's not actually your responsibility to judge everyone. You'll want to see the good in people over the bad. That isn't saying that the "bad" isn't there, but what point is there in pointing out everything that's wrong with them? How do you feel when that is done to you?

For me, I've changed the most in the absence of judgement. Every person, at the end of their life, is going to be judged by God, it isn't our responsibility to do it now. What point is there in judging them for the sin that we want to see them freed from? I want people free, not "obeying" God out of a pressure to do the "right" thing.

Take a gander through the Bible at the people Jesus had the biggest problems with... He embraced the adulteress-she knew she was sinning, she didn't need to have it spelled out. When he spared her life, He told her to go and sin no more. The Pharisees, however, he called a brood of vipers. A brood of vipers.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Inspired by my friends...

... who update their blogs; here's another random update!

Seriously, all these friends of mine who keep a regular presence on their blogs, you are amazing. I get overwhelmed. With everyday happenings such as cooking, cleaning, laundry, babies, phone calls, errands, facebook... who has time for blogging? Plus, how many people actually care enough to read it?

I have a new answer to things that, at the moment, are too much for me to think about: Who cares. I often find myself getting really worked up about nothing. It doesn't seem like "nothing" to me at the time, but when it all boils down, who cares? Worst case scenarios usually aren't that awful. I don't want to give myself a heart attack, or even worse, WRINKLES (!!;) because I spent most of my life worrying over just about everything. That's a concept Josiah has wordlessly taught me.

Speaking of wordless teaching, if you're wondering, that's the best kind. I can't say that I am a wordless teacher yet, but being around a wordless teacher is pretty great. Josiah hates me saying gooey gooey stuff about him, so, this is not gooey gooey. It's the plain, cold, hard fact: He's a wordless teacher who doesn't ever judge me. Ezra, be like your dad:).

The other day our dear dear dear dear dear dear dear friends, Summer Ryan and Audra came to town. It was getting late and Ezra and Audra were getting-nono-they were tired! Ezra was holding a little ball. Audra wanted it. dun dun dun dun. So Audra took it and walked away. Ezra, in shock that someone took his toy, began hyperventilating-deep breaths in and out, in and out. He had a look of, WHAT DID YOU JUST DO!? Followed by a I don't even think so! So he huffed and puffed and crawled, faster than I'd ever seen, over to Audra, climbed up her back and held on to her for balance. In the process of climbing up her back, he'd ended up pinching her. In pain, Audra began crying. Ezra looked at her, determination to get his ball back turning into bewilderment. Summer (Audra's mom-Audra is 3 by the way!), told Audra, Audra, you took his ball. Give it back. The ball was handed over to Ezra. Tired and upset, Audra continued to cry on mommy's shoulder. SO, in his first ever attempt to make things better, Ezra, staring intently at Audra, gave her his ball and went and started playing with another toy! Aww, my little pookie bear! I was so surprised, and entirely delighted.

If you know me at all, you won't be surprised that since then, I have randomly started crying (to see what Ezra will do). That's wrong I'm sure. He brings me his toys until I'm "better" - Ah, he is *so* cute!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

why plant a garden?

honestly. it's probably all going to die anyways.

pessimistic? maybe. but please!

i spent 300 dollars on a fence, wooden posts (for a raised bed), soil, and plants. i shouldn't even admit to the cost. the truth is, i had no idea how expensive it would be. in my mind i was going to hoe up some dirt (unaware that there is about two inches of dirt here, the rest is rock!) and plant some seeds and vua la! i have a garden! i envisioned my self happily weeding my garden, picking vegetables and only needing to go to the store for meat and dairy. ridiculous? well, that was my happy little vision.

this is what it has become: a fenced in area of overgrown grass! haha. all of the squash plants have died, as have four of my tomato plants.

RIP tomato plants

so far i have harvested about 4 cherry tomatoes... you do the math.

i also have no idea what's growing where! i put labels in the ground, but they seem to have gone missing. i did notice a jalapeno growing, so at least i know what that plant is.

what was i thinking? i have this problem, i get something in my head and there's no turning back. i was so excited about this garden...

moral of the story: just go to the friggin store!

on a happier note, i've taken really good care of my skin my whole life. i have never really been the type to "breakout," but recently my forehead has been a mess! after masking did nothing to help the situation, i got this wild idea to try bragg's raw apple cider vinegar. guess what? by simply soaking a cotton pad and applying generously to my forehead and going to bed, my forehead was almost completely clear the next morning! no joke, it was like 80% better! so, that's my new found secret.

another secret you ask? well, i had about 15 mosquito bites on my leg and it was driving me nuts! so after scratching until i could hardly bear it, i had another wild thought, if it worked on my forehead... yep, after soaking a cotton pad and applying a generous amount (what is generous anyways? i just like the way it sounds) to my leg, within about 10 minutes all of the itching was gone. i'm so not lying. about 7 or 8 hours later some mild itching returned, and i could have applied more miracle liquid, but it wasn't enough to really bother me, so i didn't bother.

this stuff is the windex of my big fat greek wedding. i even started adding a small amount to ezra's food. i figured it couldn't hurt! so, there you have it.

now go to your local grocery store and buy some bragg's apple cider vinegar! (heb even sells it).

Monday, July 12, 2010

A long hiatus

After a long hiatus, i'm back. if you can actually call it "back" since i've only been here once. whatever.

things that i've recently done:

took my niece to see the midnight showing of eclipse-aaand then saw it again-aaand then re-read breaking dawn. i love the twilight saga. in the words of a friend's facebook staus, "don't judge me, don't you dare judge me." :)

found, or i guess you could say -re-found- this amazing coffee shop in live oak called tazas. there are no words to describe how delicious their vanilla late and carmel frap is. mmm.

i'm absentmindedly looking around the room, trying to think of what else i've done lately... there's gotta be more to me than obsessive movie watching, book reading and coffee drinking...

well, that's good segway for what i was thinking about today..

i was driving down the road, on my way to complete another mundane task, thinking about the future. i was thinking about future trips josiah and i want to take and things we want to do. then it hit me, what is it about vacation and road trips that seems so great?

what is it about the thought of going somewhere, living somewhere else, that sparks such anticipation and excitement? why is it that the majority of the days in between planned good times, are mostly overlooked as boring, or just plain not fun?

why can't i look to these normal days with the same anticipation and excitement? i have the answer!:) the thing that will solve all of my problems is a bike, two actually-and a wagon for ezra.

why do i look to the days in the future to bring fun and excitement? because i plan on doing fun and exciting things!

watching movies is fun-but it's normal. reading is good-but also normal. hanging around the house is fine-butALSOnormal! doing these things over and over again, how can i not look longingly to the future?

so here's my solution: do the things that you look forward to... now! make these days fun. lets leave our houses and do something fun that we wouldn't normally do.

i don't know when, hopefully soon, i'm buying a bike and a wagon for ezra and our little family is going on a bike trip-right here in our city-before our "vacation."

Monday, April 19, 2010

First entry ever

i've been thinking about starting a blog for a while, but haven't. so now i am and i am going to write about whatever it is that i'm thinking about. that's the overall purpose of a blog, right? this will be my release when i feel like digging a hole and crawling in. my platform on which to stand and fire about whatever it is that i'm feeling passionate about. my circle to sing kum bay ya. just kidding about the last one, i can't stand that song.

my life is nothing like i pictured it would be. 5 years ago i hated the country, wanted to wait to get married until i was older, wanted to wait to have kids until i was even older and wanted to pursue an american *big time* career. so, if you would have told me that i would, of my own free will, choose to to move to the hill country, get married at 22, have a baby (because i know you're thinking it, yes, on purpose) by 24, and opt out of the career scene-i wouldn't have given your words a second thought-unless it was to laugh.
so here i am, married, living in the country and staying home with my baby... and i love it. i couldn't picture my life being this happy any other way. i thought i knew myself so well before... but, suprise suprise.
it's funny because we moved from a 3 bedroom, two car garage house in a little neighborhood, to a 1 bedroom no car garage house in the hill country-and we actually like it better. i don't ever tell people that i like it better because the inevetable is a raised eyebrow with a nod-as if to say, aww, poor thing. you really want me to believe that you like it better... well i'll nod so that you think i believe you. but honestly, i really do like it better! it is so beautiful out here. there are trees everywhere. deer walk right up to our front door. there are nature trails all over the place. i'm planting my very own garden! (i am so very excited about that!). the house is way easier to keep clean. and i love having ezra in our room with us, we both do. knowing that he's sleeping safe and sound just a few feet away from me really puts me at ease and gives me peace of mind.
something that i'm learning is that when it comes to my life (*my* being josiah, ezra and me), it doesn't matter what makes other people happy or comfortable. we don't have to fall into the pressure of having to look, live, or look like we live any certain way-and that feels good.