Monday, April 19, 2010

First entry ever

i've been thinking about starting a blog for a while, but haven't. so now i am and i am going to write about whatever it is that i'm thinking about. that's the overall purpose of a blog, right? this will be my release when i feel like digging a hole and crawling in. my platform on which to stand and fire about whatever it is that i'm feeling passionate about. my circle to sing kum bay ya. just kidding about the last one, i can't stand that song.

my life is nothing like i pictured it would be. 5 years ago i hated the country, wanted to wait to get married until i was older, wanted to wait to have kids until i was even older and wanted to pursue an american *big time* career. so, if you would have told me that i would, of my own free will, choose to to move to the hill country, get married at 22, have a baby (because i know you're thinking it, yes, on purpose) by 24, and opt out of the career scene-i wouldn't have given your words a second thought-unless it was to laugh.
so here i am, married, living in the country and staying home with my baby... and i love it. i couldn't picture my life being this happy any other way. i thought i knew myself so well before... but, suprise suprise.
it's funny because we moved from a 3 bedroom, two car garage house in a little neighborhood, to a 1 bedroom no car garage house in the hill country-and we actually like it better. i don't ever tell people that i like it better because the inevetable is a raised eyebrow with a nod-as if to say, aww, poor thing. you really want me to believe that you like it better... well i'll nod so that you think i believe you. but honestly, i really do like it better! it is so beautiful out here. there are trees everywhere. deer walk right up to our front door. there are nature trails all over the place. i'm planting my very own garden! (i am so very excited about that!). the house is way easier to keep clean. and i love having ezra in our room with us, we both do. knowing that he's sleeping safe and sound just a few feet away from me really puts me at ease and gives me peace of mind.
something that i'm learning is that when it comes to my life (*my* being josiah, ezra and me), it doesn't matter what makes other people happy or comfortable. we don't have to fall into the pressure of having to look, live, or look like we live any certain way-and that feels good.